


we're bleeding out

by crickets



Category: Savages (2012), Savages - Don Winslow
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 09:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crickets/pseuds/crickets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for the books by Don Winslow - Savages & The Kings of Cool - as well as the 2012 movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're bleeding out

**ONE**  
Chon doesn't like Ben when they first meet.

Actually, that's an understatement. 

_A big one._

It's pretty safe to say that Chon _hates_ Ben when they first meet. He's exactly the kind of hippie do-gooder type that just grates on Chon's last fucking nerve. He remembers seeing Ben around school a year or so before they actually cross paths. They're at the tail end of their freshman year and Chon's about to rip some guy's head off in the parking lot after seventh period, when Ben walks up to intervene. 

" _Brothers_ ," Ben says, obviously high. "Can't we settle this peacefully?" 

Ben puts his hand on the bigger guy's shoulder, and Big Guy turns and clocks Ben right between the eyes. Chon watches Ben go down and hit the pavement flat, not even putting up a fight. Meanwhile, there's a crowd forming around them, and all eyes are on Chon, who's just standing there looking at Ben get the crap kicked out of him by B.G. 

This is the moment where Chon has to make

_a choice._

Later, in his car, Chon reaches into the backseat and pulls out a beer from the cooler, hands it to Ben.

"Here," he says. "For your face." 

Ben applies it to his swollen lip for a second, and then to his eye; winces. 

"Thanks for that back there," Ben says. "You know, I really thought I had him."

 _Chon laughs._

 

 **TWO**  
It's exactly the fact that they're so different that O loves them both so much. She's still so young and doesn't know much, but she knows that. It's comforting, really. Like mom's cooking, _not that Paqu cooks_ , or the fact that _As the World Turns_ comes on at the same time every day.

_It's something she can count on._

"I was thinking of dropping out of school," O says, and they're all three lying on the beach, O in between them, waiting for the forecast's promised rain. 

"No." 

"Not a fucking chance." 

They both say this at once, and O laughs, because for as different as they are, sometimes they're exactly alike. 

"Nevermind," she says, reaches one hand out in either direction to grab them both by the arm. 

"O, I think that is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," Ben chimes.

"Literally? Ben, I'm disappointed in you." This, from Chon, their resident wordsmith. "Remember that time she said she thought an au pair was a fruit?"

"Oh, yeah," Ben remembers. 

"Shut up!" O is saying, but neither of them is listening.

"Can't think of a better reason to stay in school," Chon again.

Ben agrees. 

"All right. Geez! I get it." O sits up and smacks them both playfully for laughing, which they continue to do despite her protests. She looks up at the sky. "I don't think it's going to rain after all," she says after a minute. 

They both go quiet, searching the clouds with her.

"Wait," one of them says. Looking back on it now, O was never certain which one of them it was. 

_The skies open up._

 

 **THREE**  
There are a lot of things they don't talk about. 

First of all, they don't talk about the fact that O is fucking both of them on the regular. They also don't talk about the fact that Ben and Chon are clearly in love despite the fact that they're _not_ fucking. And it's not just that brotherly love, bromance garbage. This is that kind of romantic I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you... _and-you_ kind of love. Which, really? Is like, some super psychedelic, new-age, mind-blowing bullshit. This is the kind of love that doesn't have a name, so why bother? It's like how the ancient Greeks didn't have a word for _blue_. Just because they didn't know what to call it doesn't mean it wasn't there. 

_Does it?_

And second of all, they never talk about the fact that Big John put a bullet in Doc's head. They all know it. They all _feel it_ , but at the end of the day, O understands that it had to be done. At the end of the day, O understands that it was Doc or Chon, and if it were up to her? She'd choose Chon. A million times. And Ben would too. 

So, why dwell when you don't have to?

Why wonder about the things you can't change?

The shit that never mattered in the first place?

Of course, when Chon's moving inside her, her back against the wall, her voice rising high above them with Ben smoking up in the very next room, it's hard not to think about all of the things they know are true but _never_

_ever_

_say._

 

 **FOUR**  
Chon's never let Ben touch him.

When they've been together, the three of them, there's no real getting around it. _It is what it is._ And it's not like they haven't kissed, in fact, it's one of O's favorite things in the world. But for Chon? There are just some areas that are...

_Off limits._

But with O gone, and christ, with the very real possibility that she's never coming back? Things feel different. 

It's just the two of them now. 

_Possibly forever._

So when Ben climbs into Chon's bed, puts his arms around him, kisses the back of his neck? Chon doesn't protest. He doesn't even consider it. It isn't too long until Ben's hand finds its way inside Chon's shorts, and he's hard when Ben grips him, tugging him in his palm. 

"Fuck," Chon manages to breathe out. "Let me..." 

He turns over, and Ben descends upon him, his wet, hot mouth sucking Chon deep. Chon closes his eyes, thinks of O, thinks of Ben fucking O, thinks of _him_ fucking Ben. A mouthful of curses escapes his lips and _he sees stars_. 

After, Chon thinks, _this doesn't change a thing_. 

And it's true. 

Because this is always how things were, no matter what they called it -- no matter what they disguised it with. 

"We're gonna get her back, Chon," Ben says, and Chon runs his hand through Ben's hair.

"I know." 

 

 **FIVE**  
It's a long while before O is okay again. 

_After._

It's a long while before any of them are okay again, but O especially. She misses her mom. She misses being the girl who loved to shop, who'd never been kidnapped, who didn't really know what it was like to have to suffer. 

_That girl is gone._

Chon doesn't tell her "That's life," or "You'll get over it," or "Man up," or any of the other things that he might say to Ben if the roles were reversed. Because _this is O_. But mostly because Chon blames himself. And Ben blames himself too. None of this is in vain. Because the truth is? 

They _are_ to blame.

The one person who doesn't blame them is O. She pulls them into her bed every night at 2 AM and they cocoon her in their warmth, their big, _safe_ , gentle arms. Even Chon, who possesses the hands of a killer, and Ben now too. They may have sinned, they may be capable of terrible things. But they are also capable of beautiful things, and they are hers; Ben, with his soft fingertips; Chon, his covered in calluses.

Soft and hard.

Ben and Chon. 

North and South. 

Life and Death.

Both of them. 

_Hers_. 

_fin._


End file.
